Commitment and Enthusiasm

In my last post, I discussed the seidhr group's last practice session that went a bit off kilter. My good friend cor_cordivm commented (as Vervainrose) and carried the discussion to her LiveJournal. In her multiple posts on the subject, she brings up some strong points about the idea of commitment and dedication, and ponders briefly just how much of that is brought to the group each time we hold a meeting or spa rite. She observes that "the general feel of the session[s], overall, see[m] cold, tired, and perfunctory; like everyone just want[s] to get it over with." She finished by saying, "seidh's been feeling a lot like just going through the motions, lately."

I agree completely. We are in agreement that our desire as a group to come off looking professional and serious (not to mention prepared and knowledgeable) has made us lose contact with "the wild spirit edge," more production than performance. We are acting at spirit instead of producing it in the moment, spontaneously. I feel that both can exist with practice and what must become an instinctual knowledge of the rite we perform. One can't bend the rules if one doesn't know them. The rite is structured as it is for a reason, and once the memorization and familiarization of the outline is carved in our memories, only then can we attempt improvisation. It is imperative that one knows how to return to the path after straying, especially when leading a large group.

But, in order to memorize and internalize an outline, one must first approach the process in two mental states: commitment and enthusiasm. Without either of these, spirit work is going to feel like something rote, boring, and uninspiring. And once feelings like this begin they are difficult to work out, because one's expectations have been let down, and everything from that point is seen as hard or tedious work. Being committed to a group, a cause, and idea, means that one is willing to work hard to push through the challenges, the tedium, the repetition as the end goal, or the greater work, remains in view. That long hard climb up the mountain is met at the end with a breathtaking view.

Of course, you have to want the view. And that is the essence of commitment.

Enthusiasm for the work should be approached using the oldest definition of the word. From the Greek, "en thous" can roughly be translated as "with gods" or "gods within." The OED gives the following initial definition:

1. a. Possession by a god, supernatural inspiration, prophetic or poetic frenzy; an occasion or manifestation of these. Obs.

b. (cf. 3.) Poetical fervour, impassioned mood or tone. Obs.

These definitions have fallen out of use, hence the "Obs., " meaning obsolete. But the etymology is important for the origin of the word as well as how the connotation of the word has changed over time. Today, we think of enthusiasm as describing a temporary state of passion or intense conviction for a person, cause, or object of perceived worth. While that definition may also apply to how a member feels about our group, for the sake of our spirit work, I feel we should heed and appreciate the original, literal definition.

Enthusiasm for the work includes what cor_cordivm describes as "giving [one]self over, body and soul, to the service of spirit," something she feels only one group member has done with consistency. This, too, is the spirit of improvisation that is missing right now from the group. We have to engage, be active and receptive, not only listening but feeling for spirit. Giving oneself over completely to spirit can be frightening, especially when it involves becoming "enthused" in oracular work. We hear stories all the time from our god-fearing culture, stories of possession or being spirited away, either never to return or to return only with the help of high clergy. But the pagan micro-culture does not fear its gods, we embrace them, make every attempt to live our lives in accordance to their lore, make offerings and sacrifices to honor them. I can think of no greater sacrifice than using one's sole possessions, one's body and soul and mind, for spirit work, if even for short spans of time. But one must give over completely, as cor_cordivm suggests, or else we mock the act of sacrifice and are no good vessel for the work.

So, how is this brought up as a topic for discussion within the group without sounding like a critic? How should we propose that members consider their commitment and enthusiasm for the group and its continued work? cor_cordivm speculates that "most of my friends in the seidhr group have not examined their reasons for holding back, have not even considered that they might be. But I am becoming convinced that this is something we all need to deal with in some fashion." In the composition of this entry, I've been doing a little of that contemplation myself, but there is yet more work to be done, for myself and for cor_cordivm, as well as for the group.

What else should be considered is just exactly what we want to do within the rite, or for what purpose we perform the rite. We don't seem to have a clear sense of purpose, which might be contributing to any lack of commitment. What are we doing? Even better, what do we want to do? We've attempted these discussions in the past, and we have things we agree on as well as individual goals. As I said in the last post, this is not established as a vanity group. While we each may feel our individual magical goals are important, I feel they should only take precedence if they will also benefit the group--meaning that we should not focus on them as a group unless the latter is true. Along with our consideration and meditation on our commitment and enthusiasm, I agree with cor_cordivm when she says that in order to live up to our potential as a group we need to "start examining issues of spirituality, religion, devotion, and our expectations therein, and hashing out a deeper practice." If we are to do magic and spirit work together, it behooves us to be invested with will and energy, aware and awake, not mesmerized buy the routine, not only of the work but of our lives. If we are not prepared to commit ourselves to the process, letting our terrible workdays, domestic upsets, or personal issues hold us from spirit work, then perhaps we should not be in the group. How much are we willing to sacrifice, and do we even know how?

Although, working with the group could, and should frankly, help us as individuals to work through our daily bullshit by simply entering into the core of spirit and doing its work, our remedy lies in what we do as a community, whether that be the intimacy of the seidhr group or the pagan community at large.

In the next post, I plan to make some suggestions on how we might approach the work of spirit work, how to be enthusiasts, and how these and some basic performance skills might enhance our experience within the seidhr group.